Unhappy yet hopeful

Hey yo!

I know everyone still felt that the  holidays were too short and therefore each one of us hoped and wished to have an extended vacation even just for a little. But too bad, majority of us couldn't spare more holidays because it would be a bad omen to start the new year with too many absences. Such, was my case.

December wasn't really a blast for us. In the middle of it, my father in law was admitted to the hospital, stayed there for 2 weeks and sadly passed away after Christmas Day at the age of 83. Christmas for us was spent at the hospital, chasing the doctors, buying prescriptions and shelling out our cash bonuses for a greater purpose but no regrets though. I was still happy to at least have given than have done nothing at all. And, thank God for it because I now somehow know what I'm capable of and what kind of person I am.

New Year came but there was nothing special for us too. We were grieving after we sent a family member to his final resting place 2 days before New Year's eve. So, it was a quiet New Year for us. My kids and I went to light a candle at St. Jude Parish, watched some Christmas decorations displayed at the City Hall and went home, drank a little, talked to hubby about different stuff and ended up snoring 2 hours after we blew and honked horns.

So here I am, sleeping off a migraine and spending the whole day tucked in bed and somehow coping up with the throbbing pain and literally unhappy about taking a day off from work.

Yes, to be honest, I'm not happy for skipping work. I don't to hear disappointments, complaints, etc. So much for working in a company owned by a relative. *sigh*

Oh well, maybe it's a sign for something. I just have to absorb it somehow and whatever it may be, I think, I have to think further ahead.

Good luck to our 2014! Let's hope this year will go more smoothly than last year and probably end it with something very good! God bless us!

Bangon Pilipinas

I'm such a balat sibuyas. I get sentimental when I see pictures of the typhoon Haiyan's destruction.

I had been one of those people who cannot stop criticizing the government but amidst my personal sentiments, I still believe that they can do better if they give focus and heart to the issues at hand.

Maybe, the Filipinos are still inexperienced in handling the after effects of a very strong typhoon. Yet, I believe that we get to learn valuable lessons after this, after everyone has recovered.

As the saying goes, "There's always a rainbow after every rain."

So, let me leave you with this revived song that is very applicable to the current situation we're facing now. Let's do our share. Let's help.

Babangon tayo Pilipinas. :)

Come out, come out wherever you are....

Yes, tomorrow marks the 7th day after the strongest typhoon, which was named as Haiyan internationally and Yolanda locally, hit a portion of Visayas.

Social media networks can't get enough criticisms against the government. And yes, I'm one of those people who had been criticizing a lot basing on the response that the government gives to ease the situation in Visayas.

I can't say that we don't lack equipments because we do. We don't have enough high-tech facility that can make the government's job easier.

We don't have enough funds to, at least, give enough food for all the victims from the typhoon.

But the lack of attention on this situation is really unacceptable.

If you're wondering why I can't stop from posting my complaints against the government, then allow me to tell it to you.

• Master plan, rescue missions, reinforcements were late. I don't know why they could put these on hold when these should always be the first step in alleviating the grief of the victims. It's not as if typhoons cannot be predicted. When a typhoon shows up on the weather system, rest assured that the weather people know its estimated time of landfall, the intensity of the rain and wind, also the "possible" after effects of such typhoons. Hence, master plans should be prepared ahead of time from the hourly weather images they see. From the master plan, they can already prepare "possible" rescue missions and reinforcements in clearing the road, collecting bodies and giving out food. It's such a disappointment to see that the first people to arrive on ground zero were the aids provided by international governments. We're supposed to be the first people to respond to the situation. And, since the LGUs aren't available because they themselves are victims, the national government should respond immediately. The question is, where's the national government?

• No supplies until after a few days. It's understandable that roads have to be cleared. What I couldn't understand is why they didn't use the government choppers to drop off goods in different areas even in just a small proportion? 

• Lack of body bags for the casualties. I couldn't blame the people for being so angry about how the government on how they handled this situation. After every calamity, it's expected that the number of casualties will rise. Majority of the Filipino people expected a swift response in clearing all the bodies, identifying them and initiate a mass grave for the burial. It's just so sad that there wasn't even a plan on this. Mass burial was unsuccessful at the first attempt. Government representatives are telling everyone that they don't have enough body bags. Are they just going to stop there and keep on making excuses? I hope they remember that the bodies are decaying already. In my knowledge, formalins will be deemed as useless in preserving the bodies because the water in the body will just eject the chemical. Expect a lot of bacterias in that area because of decomposition of not only bodies but also garbages as well. 

• No alternative evacuation sites. Yes, that's the saddest part. Victims are left sleeping on the streets, at the airports and even beside dead relatives. Tents can be very good alternatives if only they're ready to dispose them to the affected families right then and there. But, according to the interviews, these tents are still not made. Tsk tsk tsk.

I wonder how much the victims will have to sacrifice after the typhoon, after losing their friends and family.

I remembered reading an FB post about an open letter from one of the victims who was pleading for the presence of the President on this situation. Pleading for the President to be at ground zero.

Natural disasters cannot be controlled. These are nature's way of telling people that we contributed to its wrath.

Nobody's blaming anyone for these disasters. But, the presence of the government, they need it the most.

I hope that the people elected would, at least somehow, show that they sympathize with the victims instead of just answering questions, assuring them that they are doing their best, counting death tolls, making statements of donations, etc.

At this time of crisis, even if we're not victims, we feel the need of a reassurance from the government officials, especially the President, by being there at ground zero and showing that they give a damn.

Haiyan na naman sila!

It's really disappointing!

Palpak na nga sa announcements at hindi naibigay ng tama ang inpormasyong "storm surge", hindi pa nagpapakita sa panahong kelangan sila ng mga biktima sa trahedya.

Sa lakas ba namang 250 kph na hangin na nakita na ng pag-asa, pati impormasyong delikado na ang epekto ng "storm surge", hindi pa naibigay ng maayos.

Ngayong tapos na ang bagyo, tapos na ang trahedya, madami ng bangkay sa daan, wala pa ring ginagawa ang mga taong nasa posisyon.

Tumulong na nga't lahat ang iba't ibang bansa, ni anino ng mga opisyal na nagpapa interbyu sa radyo at telebisyon, e wala! NAMAN!

Ke daling lumabas sa telebisyon at mag apela ng tulong, pero ni simpatiya lang sa mga biktima, wala. Ngayon na kelangan nila kayo, lugmok, umiiyak, pinanghihinaan ng loob, walang makain, kayo naman ay parang sabon na kung buhusan, nawawala.

Magsikilos naman kayo at hindi lang pasasa ng pasasa sa pag eenjoy sa mga buwis na pinagnanakawan pa. Hindi lang sa pag aanunsyo na mag rerelease kayo ng 13th month ng maaga.

Punyeta naman! Nakakahiya kayo! Kapwa Pilipino, hindi pa matulungan. Inuuna niyo pa si Napoles sa usapan e wala naman kayong maipipiga diyan kundi "I invoke my right" at "hindi ko alam".

Sana lang sa katagang "Babangon ang Pilipinas" e talagang may ginagawa kayo at hindi lang pabandying bandying sa palasyo, naninigarilyo, nagpapa picture at nagpapa interview lang.

Nakaka HB! Hay naku! Kelan pa kayo titino!

Naway maging aral to sa lahat ng tao. Bumoto naman kayo ng mga taong sa tingin niyo ay karapatdapat ilagay sa pweste at hindi kung sino ang nanay at tatay o kamag-anak.

Matamaan na kung matamaan!

Oh life!

Wouldn't it be nice if there's just this one day that you would be able to disappear from all your problems?

To be honest, if only someone could beam me up to another country or even just to some place where I don't know anyone, I would gladly take the opportunity. 

It's really hard to be fair in all situation. I can do only so much.

Take this instance when you did a lot of things in the past that's still not heartily accepted by people close to you and now you're trying to patch things up. Yet along the way, there's this crossroad and you're trying to do the best you could to decide which road to take. And no matter which road you choose, one is bound to be deserted.

That's how I feel. That's how I had felt for a couple of years now.

Right now, I really think that the win-win situation is just a piece of crap.

If only Papa God could whisper to me on how to do things correctly, on what I could do to make things easier for everyone, I will right then and there do whatever I could to make things right.

But that's just life. It's not always a bed of roses. It's just, yeah, complicated.

The way I feel tonight

Dear Papa God,

Is it too much to ask for extreme patience, understanding and optimism? Because it's literally running out already.

Lately, I had been experiencing a lot of heartaches from someone whom I expected to support me in every decision that I make, be it good or bad. After all, it's for a long term goal. Yet much to my disappointment, my day always start and end with a lot of painful words being thrown at me. Now, I'm not even sure what "through thick and thin" really meant anymore.


I never regretted making mistakes in life, even if it meant falling and standing back again. I never regretted going through a rough road, even at times when the road is full of piercing stones and the only choice I have to move on is to walk without any shoes on.

To be honest Father, even if I had no regrets, I still can't take off the thoughts of giving up and going back to the place where I feel that I really belong, home. If only I didn't have any children to think of or any responsibilities to face, I would be glad to just leave everything behind and go back to where I started.

At times that I'm at my lowest, I try to put on a poker face and smile like there's nothing wrong. At times, I wanted to drown myself with beer just to cover the pain that I feel even if it's just a temporary solution.

Right now, Father, I feel lost, drained and empty. But I am going to choose the greater good: move on and assure myself that I'm doing the right thing.

Please help me understand all these things Father.

Love, Sweepz

Today, I learned: death

* That life is really short. We must learn to appreciate even the smallest things that come our way.

Just last week, we learned that one of our closest friends passed away from a car accident to Bukidnon. From the stories they told us, this friend was on his way to CDO with his boss who was driving the car at that time. When they reached Bukidnon, his boss tried overtaking his car and noticed that another car headed the opposite direction was doing the same. He swerved and their car fell over a cliff. Our friend, who wasn't wearing any seat belt, was found a few meters away from the car. They said that his stomach had a long scratch because of the broken window.

We still can't believe that this happened. He wasn't even 30 yet. It was just so sad.

* That life should be spent on things that matter the most.

* That we should stop worrying about a lot of things. Worrying is like cancer, it robs most of your time away without you noticing it.

* That we should always be positive. Problems are natural. Sometimes, it takes time to find a solution and that prayers to Papa God are the best answer to this problem.

The last few items are not in connection to the story by the way, well, except for the first bullet.

Sometimes, there are people who continuously put something into someone's heart and if these people leave, the hearts are left empty.That's how it feels right now.

To you Sam, may you rest in peace. The kids remembered you when you asked for Momay. Tata even shared to the kids that you helped him carry them when they were still little. God bless you on your journey. We hope you're now in a better place.