Reality Check..

Hey y'all..
What's the update??

Mom and I were talking of opening up a stall..
The greatest idea that I had so far was to concentrate on selling blank cds and dvds..
Wholesale or retail..
Good idea??
But.. we still have to start checkin' out on suppliers and manufacturers before anything else..
the costs per cd and the earnings..
mainly, the capital that we must shell out..
First things first, the feasibility study..
I'm sure my little sister will do a great job at it..
Cool huh?

For the past few weeks, I had been reflecting on my actions..
See, I have this officemate, who goes on blabbing about her dissatisfaction over the company policies and the law makers..
I always end up arguing with her since I thought she's a little pessimistic over a lot of things..
and worst of all, she makes decisions impulsively.. NO THINKING!
Honest!
and after every conversation, I end up blaming myself for being tactless and hurting her in the process..
Hell, I love my friend, you know..
Sometimes, even if I know that I end up hurting her for the things that I said, I always console myself by telling it my brain over and over again that my frankness over her actions is a way of saying that I actually care..
The only thing that I don't understand was when she submitted her RESIGNATION before weighing the aftermath..
She's married, guys, and has a kid who's less than a year old..
Her husband is unemployed and has no plans of seeking a job, in other words, tamad..
Even if she's a nurse by profession, it doesn't always mean that she would earn an income more than a regular employee, professionals also, is paid..
And, her resignation really alarmed me..
I ended up reasoning with her and telling her to give her brain a job on this matter..
It would be really unfair for her child to experience hardship at such a young age, you know..
what's bad, most of all, was her reason for resigning - that the nurse must be in supervisory level at every company..
stupid huh?

well.. I also had told myself, eventhough both my husband and I are working, that it would be a bad idea to give up work..
First of all, I had children to feed and clothe.. Not to mention the education that I'm paying for every month..
and what about the water and electricity bills.. The food that we eat, the transportation and the vises..
at the end of the day, even if I had 2 memorandums in my personal folder, I would still thank that I'm patient enough to handle all the setbacks in the company..
Painful as it is, letting go of the insults for a better cause, my family's comfort..

*sigh*..
I still miss my dad..
Mom and I had a better relationship, I guess..
My little brother, Dave, and I are much open to each other now.. We talk of mature things lately, like opening up a business for extra income.. We blurt out our grudges and disappointments, out of the blue.. and the good thing is, we play RAN together, something common..
Benny, naman, I think needs to learn a few more lesson in life.. sometimes, he hurt us by saying a lot of negative things at our back.. Even then, he's still my younger brother and I love him amidst all of it..
For both, Dich and me, we don't usually talk about stuff.. We're less open when it comes to brain storming.. I still have to work on it..

My sons are in Kinder 1 already.. They're starting to learn to read, add, subtract and they now listen to instructions.. They're less playful and hardheaded now, I guess, even kids grow up..
They still give me anxiety when I'm at work.. I worry about them always.. although I had to be stiff enough to let them be independent..
My premature son, Shane, is also progressing.. Although, he got his genes from me, grows little over a period of time, he still is getting to be normal.. He loves playing, cries over stuff, wants to grab everything and stomps when he doesn't get something.. I am doting him.. I love him most of all, maybe it's because he's the youngest.. hehehe..
but when measured, I love my 3 kids equally.. but sometimes, the attention I give for the 3 of them are not equal since I have to give out more on the little one, but still, I would confess that I love them equally..

I still thank God for giving me a good life, good mom, most of all..
but I still miss dada..