Blending in..

It's another Saturday again..

Another day where you go through a whole day of bored work..

Other got their half day off while some have the whole afternoon to sit and stare in space.. And, I'm just one of the few people sitting and staring at the ceiling before deciding to go hacking away the keyboard of our boss' password protected computer..

Luckily though, it's one of these days that I get to have a chance to hit it..

So, now, here I am, sitting and staring past the monitor while my fingers tick tack away..

For what? I dunno.. After 4 hours of tormenting work in the morning, I'm left with nothing to do for another 4 hours in the afternoon..

Sometimes I wonder why life is so complicated..

When I was still a kid, although I'm still a kid at heart, I worry what my neighbors would be playing when I'm not allowed to go out.. I worry about the punctures that I got from running and slipping the stoney floor.. I worry about the next session in school and when it will end when math time comes.. I worry about the toys that I would want mom and dad to buy when they disagreed to it for being so costly..

When teenage days came, I worry about the zits on my face.. I used to watch my classmates put lipstick and toothpaste on their zits when I laugh at them but do the same.. I worry about the sleep-overs when my friends are screaming throughout the night while I sleep in my cozy bed.. I worry of guys and on how I would do to let them like me..

When college days came, I worry of being far away from my family and venture into another part of the world becoming independent myself.. I worry of the late night spree in cinema's when homework was supposed to be due the day tomorrow.. I worry about why guys ignore me when my friends get to choose whoever they like.. I worry about blending in the crowd.. and worry was carried on after graduation from college..

Now comes reality.. when one has to work their asses off to have a future or do they have a future after all?

I, after learning a lot of this existence, worry a little less than before..

I have a beautiful family, 2 kids and a good career.. Fate is on my side.. while I go along with the tides of today and prepare myself for the tsunami of tomorrow..

Now, I'm facing a world of existence where one learn throughout their way to God..

I thank God for giving me this..

The Bull..

My morning was came out so good that I haven't considered anything would make it as bad as it is now..

I don't even give a bit of shit if he reads what I write.. he's just as bulls**t as ever.. I always thought that he was a nice person but he turned the other way around.. after he got his permanent job after 6 months of being probation..

He was the nicest guy when he came to the office but alas, he changed..

anyway.. did you get one of those days when you're asked to clean out your area when the person telling can't even get a glimpse of how his table looked like..

he's a piece of s**t!

and getting to be more than just a s**t!..

I hope he rots on his chair and get some sense..

and did you know, I just cleaned my area with wipe out and sliding door with a glass cleaner..

and so it went, a bad day.........

Getting to know each other..... again!

I had another fruitful visit with my mom.. The more I get to be with her, the more I admit to myself that I actually miss her..

I miss her laughter, her smile, her witty comments, her ordinary voice raising, her all..

And, the more that I realize that I love her, the more I felt wasted of the years that we lost contact of each other..

So, anyway, last night I brought my kids to my "once" home.. I was so amazed by the scene, although she showed me that's she's still mad, deep beneath her posture, as you could see shadows in one's eye, she was happy of the feeling of becoming a grandmother..

The kids, however, still felt a little strangeness of meeting her the first time, went off their way to exert their effort in reaching the billiard table.. So mad are they that they went their way off climbing the table and kicking the colored balls that were set on the table to play..

If you could only see them, you'll be rolling down the floor, laughing until you couldn't squeeze another "ha"..

Although the visit that I had last night was so time constraint, wherein I gave myself an hour, it was simply nourishing enough to see how well our family is going to be in the years to come..

As for my relationship with mom, I'll be trying, of course, my best to win her back..

and, I'll be saying this to you, "itaga mo sa bato, I will be behaving a proper lady should behave and be her "daughter", once and for all..

In a State of Utopia

It's been 3 years and plenty of days that I haven't seen, talk and hug my mother..

So many questions were left unanswered..

So much hatred resided in our hearts..

So much pain had been registered in our mind..

So much "i miss you"had been prayed to God everynight..

As it ended yesterday at 2 PM, I was in a state of utopia..

I am halfway to heaven now that our relationship flowers more.. now that she accepted me back in her arms..

Thank you Lord for giving me the courage to face my mother.. To tell her that "i'm very sorry"..
I love her the most..

I couldn't ask for more, except, my dad..

I'm Hooked..

Not the cross stitches and the colorful pattern that I sew everyday..

Not the books that I snatched from my sister..

Not from the coffee that I make every morning..

Not the internet icon that I click every break..

Not the refreshing rests that I take after every lunch..

Not the TV that I watch from day to night..

But the game called "YOU DON'T KNOW JACK!"

RISEN..

I was wrong, after all....

I TOLD HIM SO...

My colleague is going to be sooooo dead when he reports on Monday..

Reminiscing the First Time..

Well.. It's actually been days already that I haven't gotten hold of a functioning computer with internet access.. and it's too much of a damn restriction.. don't you think so??

just about this morning, my boss came in a little too late and lucky as I am, I had the chance to grab hold of the keyboad as I go on tick-tacking away..

and the result of all these?? another blog was written..

it's been quite a few days already that my addiction of doing an entry on my blog has ever materialized..

and dang right that my feelings had been too jumpy at the sight of a computer.. Imagining myself caressing the qwertyuiop alphabetically scrambled keyboard gives me this feeling of wanting..

oh so lucky am I that computers are invented but so damn unlucky for being restrained in using the modern technology..

I am going to explode in a moment now.. *bang*

Mi Kiddo's

Time flies by so fast that I'm having a really really hard time catching up..

My kids are growing so fast and catching up on today's trend even if they're just 2.. *sigh*..

Just the other day, I saw them staring at the TV set as they jumped up and down while singing the tune of the ads.. and to my amazement, I was actually trying to stop myself from crying.. shallow, huh??

and *sigh*.. would you believe, that they already know to sing and dance the "yeye bonel".. hahaha

I never had enjoyed them more from the moment that they came out but just now..

You know how it is.. to all the amazement that a mother is going to feel as their children grow up, there is but one wish that they keep in their hearts, that their children will be good grown ups as the years will come..

*sigh*.. I'm just as sentimental as anyone is when they see their baby for the first time.. when they see their baby open their eyes..

yes, these are God's miracle..

Abstinence!

Did you know that we were banned to use the computer just because of a stupid error caused by the network..

It's such a dumb idea to associate the error in send and receiving messages as viruses.. when in fact, it was an error caused by the absence of the connection to the server..

Dang people! Don't you think it's dumb??

I dunno if my boss finds time in reading my blog but he's such a jerk..

if he only know..